not exactly Fort Knox

My name is Marty and I'm here to party.
Oh, and why Mass. Murdera? That was my rap name in 7th grade way back in '99. Get it? I'm from Massachusetts? Oh, yeah? Well fuck you, I still think that shit was pretty clever. I may have peaked in the 7th grade. So what?

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Bill Hader gives some quality book recommendations. My tastes line up a lot with his. He’s also adapting Charles Portis’ ‘the Dog of the South’ with Greg Mottolla (Superbad; Adventureland). Makes sense for why he singles that one out.

unamusedsloth:

If Daenerys went to Starbucks… [via]

(via girlishwhimsy)

streeter:

I am a historian and this is how it happened.

(via girlishwhimsy)

Matt Johnson: ”There is no better time for a Tinder photo than with your nieces & nephews … at a children’s burial.”

really digging John Oliver’s show and the HBO treatment of it all. It being on once a week for 30 minutes makes it real easy to carve out time for.

(via kylekinane)

just got done watching Friday Night Light’s ‘the Son’

it’s maybe the 4th time I’ve watched it. I cry every damn time. And it feels so good. Oh, Matt Saracen. 

Once was with my brother. When the episode ended we just looked at each other in tears and nodded our heads at each other . And went right onto the next episode. Same thing happened again tonight with my mom.

Sunday is a day where we watch our Friday Night Lights. This show is the best.

Snowpiercer

Saw this sci-fi movie. So awesome and original. I have some quibbles with it in ways I didn’t with the Raid movies at all. But it’s still good.

Bonus points for Tilda Swinton who kills it: but she also looks exactly like this awful lady at the bank who fired me (VP of Retail) that nobody in the company past/present liked. She has the same exact haircut/glasses and stupid look on her face. It’s uncanny. You might be thinking that Tilda is playing too ridiculous of a character but I assure you, she is not. That person fucking exists and, like in the movie, she is also an unrepentant bitch that everybody hoped would just fucking die. 

It’s available on demand so you can just see it right now instead of going to the movies.

saw this tonight and it kicked my ass. Both this and the original are just as good as it gets for action thrillers. It’s just unreal and so well done.

It’s basically what Tarantino tried to do with those silly Kill Bill movies. They were too hokey and a mish-mash of too many different genres (specifically the stupid anime bullshit). Meanwhile, this is just straight up the middle and no bullshit.

My brother used to beat the shit out of me every single day when he came home in middle school. He would do his wrestling moves on me and take it out on me even when I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. You know the corny action sequence in those movies where the protagonist goes, 'man, I'm not going to fight you' and then gets his ass kicked? Yeah? WELL THAT WAS ME! EVERY DAY! The one time I absolutely kicked my brother’s ass was when I was hopped up on adrenaline after watching a Jackie Chan movie and my brother came after me. God, I wish there was footage of it. I was such a slippery little shit, did things with chairs, couches, bending, karate chops to the neck and head. Just super unorthodox and moronic. After that, it was back to my brother giving me Steiner Recliners. Those were super painful and I cried EVERY time and my brother would not give mercy.

Point of that story is this: if I saw these movies in middle school, my brother would be fucking dead. I mean, holy shit. I am not joking. These movies just make you want to go out and take out an entire neighborhood by yourself afterwards.

I’ve been about 80 episodes behind my favorite podcast, Walking the Room. And I am catching up real fast since this shitty data entry job dealing w/ blood/urine means I get to listen to my beloved podcasts for 8 hours PLUS the 2-3 hours/day I’m in the car commuting. It’s a super enjoyable podcast between 2 stand-up comedians. One’s mostly a grump (Dave) and the other is this super affable dude (Behrendt). And they’re both mostly struggling comedians who have hit some unbelievable ups and downs, but mostly downs that are sad, but ridiculously funny. The failures of their lives is something that I think people identify with and the humor of it is just unbelievable.

Cut straight to the 46-minute mark in this one. It is a gem…
Dave Anthony worked at a bank previously applying to a job. His job resume reads exactly like mine (having worked at a bank myself) for the useless shit you come up with when applying for an entry-level job. Or any job. Do it. You got to!

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