not exactly Fort Knox

My name is Marty and I'm here to party.
Oh, and why Mass. Murdera? That was my rap name in 7th grade way back in '99. Get it? I'm from Massachusetts? Oh, yeah? Well fuck you, I still think that shit was pretty clever. I may have peaked in the 7th grade. So what?

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John Oliver demands to know how Ayn Rand is still a thing

the Mark Cuban dig is great. 

Jordan Schlansky alert!

Honest Trailer: ‘the Fault in Our Stars’

read the book: cried. Saw the movie last week and there’s evidence of me legit crying on my Instagram: the last hour is just one big cryfest.

This is amazing (as usual)

didn’t know this episode was up until now. It’s not a good one like some of the handful of others I’ve seen (Chris Rock; Louis; Patton).
…but…
Jerry Seinfeld/Aziz have coffee in my town (Shrewsbury). They start out at the very, very edge of Worcester (Chuck-E-Cheese) and then go into Shrewsbury. It’s this very beaten down side of town. The video captures its ugliness and dreariness pretty well. Driving down that road and being around it feels like swallowing a pack of cigarettes. That’s a weird simile but I stand by it. It’s just a really weird location to choose, but I guess Jerry just wanted to be able t drive a truck/bus and be somewhere near a truck stop diner, one that nobody I know in my town has ever gone to.

The one comedian from my town is getting big: Mike Birbiglia. So that’s cool.

In her report, Coyne wrote that the Palins got back into the Hummer but didn’t leave until after Track was reportedly seen standing with his shirt off in front of the house, flipping off other departing partygoers.

Not sure you’ll find a better paragraph. (via comediandaveanthony)

wolvensnothere:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

(via girlishwhimsy)

  • Dave:: I should add that my dad now walks around with the constitution in his back pocket.

"Quite frankly, I thought the bias of all the good people being one color and all the bad people being another was rather destructive," - Ronald Reagan on Roots

(via comediandaveanthony)

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