didn’t know this episode was up until now. It’s not a good one like some of the handful of others I’ve seen (Chris Rock; Louis; Patton). …but… Jerry Seinfeld/Aziz have coffee in my town (Shrewsbury). They start out at the very, very edge of Worcester (Chuck-E-Cheese) and then go into Shrewsbury. It’s this very beaten down side of town. The video captures its ugliness and dreariness pretty well. Driving down that road and being around it feels like swallowing a pack of cigarettes. That’s a weird simile but I stand by it. It’s just a really weird location to choose, but I guess Jerry just wanted to be able t drive a truck/bus and be somewhere near a truck stop diner, one that nobody I know in my town has ever gone to.
The one comedian from my town is getting big: Mike Birbiglia. So that’s cool.
Sure, in one sense, this boner dog is from back in 2013. But, in another, larger, truer sense, this boner dog is a timeless boner dog. Look at those sad eyes. It’s a heavy burden, this enormous dog boner. Who will help me bear this dog boner? Can’t even get any work done in my office chair.
“In her report, Coyne wrote that the Palins got back into the Hummer but didn’t leave until after Track was reportedly seen standing with his shirt off in front of the house, flipping off other departing partygoers.”—Not sure you’ll find a better paragraph. (via comediandaveanthony)
Alex Robinson, resident of the great city of Boston, Massachusetts, discovered a heartwarming message—presumably written by a benevolent former resident—while pulling up floorboards during a renovation of his Charlestown home.
haha sounds like someone left something for Bill Burr
Welcome back to the NFL, the one professional sports league whose commissioner has seen to it that, good, bad or ugly, it’s always on your mind.
Love the NFL. Both Matt Ufford and Bill Simmons basically wrote the same article. Funny how that is so, but it’s right.
…also, on DRAFT DAY…. The hardest and most I enjoyed DRAFT DAY was when Frank Langella was pissed at the trading of the #1 pick (when, you know, they gave up three 1st rounders to do that). So he then takes a cab, makes it to the airport, flies back to Cleveland, and arrives at the team’s headquarters in time for the 5th or 7th pick and he is irate. It’s so impossible since that would take 20-30 minutes between the 1st pick and that pick. Such an awful movie. I should say that you should rent it for that and see how hard you laugh. And then scream as an armchair GM for everything you shouldn’t do. Fuck, Kevin Costner should be fired 1000 times over in that movie for how badly he fucks things up.
The uprising in Ferguson was an inevitable reaction to the institutional racism coursing through the area for decades.
super long read that’s worth your time. Infuriating and a good reason why people think the system, lawyers, and police in America are lame and rigged.
I thought about being a cop so I could be a detective or do some good. But, in all likelihood, I’d probably end up being some asshole traffic cop. What a piece of shit job that is. But something way deeper and disturbing is going on there.
I don’t think Fox News really cares to understand that, while the death of Michael Brown may never be understood completely, that the anger/protests is about something so much more than just his death. That’s clear and it’s something that could happen anywhere. How can that not be acknowledged? It’s only going to happen more and more.
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.
Magary’s annual ‘Your Team Sucks’ finally comes to my beloved Pats. Love it and always worth a read.
I like to think I’m a realistic fan…and tend to be pessimistic. There’s no other coach or QB I’d rather have in football. WIth that said, Belichick as a GM fucking blows and needs some more outside input. He falls too in love with Rutgers and Florida players and hasn’t learned any lessons from being burned by that going back to Chad Jackson in 2006 when his own position coach, Brian Daboll, came running back to him NOT to draft him. Too many bad draft moves that were shitty at the time (Donta Hightower being a tweener when I wanted Lavonte David since he fit the mold of undersized LB’s being successful in pass-happy game; Tavon Wilson when they could have him in the 7th; a crippled Ras-I Dowling; any Rutgers player; Brandon Meriweather; Ron Brace; Aaron Dobson over Keenan Allen; Patrick Chung over his Oregon teammate Jairus Byrd). Some bad picks I get (Darius Butler; Terrence Wheatley) since they were athletic CB’s in a league that was shifting towards rules that made it harder to play defense. Reaches for shitty players (Chad Ochocinco; Albert Haynesworth) that left the team exposed, paying the wrong guys (Hernandez; Leigh Boddenn; Adalius Thomas; Jonathan Fanene; Amendola when they had Edelman), letting guys go for cheap (Welker; Woodhead; Deion Branch in 2006 when they had no WR’s; Mike Vrabel), and not going after some awesome players (Tony Gonzalez; Steve Smith) when they had the assets to make a move on desperate franchises (Chiefs; Panthers) with spotty GM’s. I don’t expect the Pats to be perfect but I leave almost every recent draft feeling devastated by what they did and proven right by how burned I felt.
Also, fuck me for being an armchair GM. But I am a nerd for the team-building process of following an NFL team.
I think the Pats go 12-4 this season (favorable schedule) and blow it in the AFC Championship Game or the Super Bowl. The offensive line is horrid, offensive weapons are unreliable (Amendola/Edelman do the same thing; Dobson isn’t there; LaFell sucks: no Panther fan is sorry he’s gone). They’re thin on front-7 depth on D, particularly Linebacker. They have no Strong Safety and haven’t had one since Rodney Harrison left. I knew Mankins would be gone for sure since he had a high cap number and he would never budge. But to be traded for an undrafted Rutgers tight end? What?! They went after 10 Rutgers players in 2013 and he somehow wasn’t one of them? What the fuck?
PREDICTIONS: Chandler Jones finally breaks out this season and gets 15+ sacks. Jamie Collins should break out. Maybe Donta Hightower gets moved as a 3rd down specialist to DE since he’s slow as a LB, but they don’t have much depth at LB. Maybe Shane Vereen too if he can ever stay healthy. I like Dominique Easley but he’s a rookie coming back from another torn ACL…and Danny Amendola gets injured. Also the offensive line will be a major issue and Brady is in for a world of hurt.
I know full well that when Tom Brady is gone, we will fucking suck again. Drew Bledsoe took 10 years off my dad’s life. I hated watching him play and how much he sucked in the pocket and held on to the ball forever. I assure you, no one thinks he’s better than Tom Brady. The distance between a great QB is and then everybody else is so obvious when you go from game-to-game. It’s night and day to see from game-to-game. The 2008 season was a fluke with the easiest possible schedule (AFC West NFC West). Even Chad Pennington/Brett Favre had 11 wins that season with equally shitty teams. That’s what people in the Peyton Manning is better than Tom Brady camp fail to realize about that bullshit argument. Also, Cassel went 10-6 in 2009 with the Chiefs (same favorable AFC West/NFC West schedule). And, yes, Cassel sucks and I’m amazed he’s a starter for going on 7 seasons when he didn’t play in college or his first 3 years in the NFL (7 years of NOT playing at all: holy shit!) Good luck seeing Curtis Painter or Dan Orlovsky pull off that shit.
Things I hate the most about the Pats (could list the things I love, but hating is so much better) -‘the Patriot Way’ -hate for Tom Brady from moron fans: just a general lack of knowing that this is the best it’s ever going to get -the stadium is the furthest away from the city (Boston) than any other NFL team. Foxborough sucks. It’s much closer to Providence. -the acoustics of the stadium push the sound outward. So it sucks, sound wise, for an NFL game or if you’re there for music. Seattle’s is masterfully amplified. -the long walk to the Patriot rail line or the parking lot after games in bad weather: I saw a 70-year old dude fall face first on ice trying to board the train after the 2010 regular season finale against the Dolphins and just stunned in a pool of his own blood and broken jaw. The long walk to the parking lot after the 2013 AFC Championship Game? Iced all over. My cousin broke her arm. I fell a couple times on my ass. Again, 60K+ people had to make this walk. Not great. -the re-enactor colonials who shoot guns after TD’s.in the end zone. God, I hate those guys. -Barstool sports douchebags -the insufferable local media (WEEI guys; Shaughnessy). I actually dig Bill Simmons but his NFL columns aren’t great. -over-the-top reverence for Robert Kraft when he tried moving the team to Hartford. I like the guy, but draw a line. -Eli Manning sucks and the Pats got outplayed/outcoached by them in those games. Also, they somehow recovered every one of their own fumbles in those 2 games. Tyree’s catch (no holding on that play when holding was rightfully called on the Pats O-Line all game when their offensive line were human turnstiles). A lot of luck goes into winning. It’s just weird to see such an inconsistent and mediocre Giants football team win in those seasons when they had 4-game losing streaks and barely made it in. Pats deserved to lose in 2007, the 2011 game was much more even/unlucky.
-Josh McDaniel: his playcalling a need to go after shitty players -not having a proper Defensive Coordinator: bring back Rob ‘Wolfman’ Ryan. I would pay a bounty to get Rex Ryan to be the Pats DC if the Jets ever fire him. -a bald-headed guy in a Pat Tillman jersey ridiculing every opposing fan the whole game (Texans Monday night) in the nosebleeds. It’s a holier-than-thou stance to take and you’re going to win wearing that jersey, I guess. I suppose it’s like that in most stadiums somewhere. My brother and his friend get a TON of shit and food/ketchup thrown at him at Jets games and threats to fight when he goes with my former roommate there. That type of fan has been phased out of Foxboro since Gillette was built, I’d say. -Boston’s more of a Red Sox town than a Pats town: it should be the opposite but Gillette Stadium is in Foxboro. Fuck, I really hate Sox fans. -the 2008 game against the Dolphins when they introduced the Wildcat. Anybody watching that knew it was a fluke thing and ANY team would be wildly unprepared for. Pats had lost Tom Brady a week or so prior. The fans booed and left in droves. Some players got ridiculed for shitting on the fans for leaving that one. Never mind the fact that they nearly went undefeated the season prior or had an all-time great run between 2001-2007. I still say 2008 was a fun season to follow. Matt Cassel actually improved week-to-week (can’t throw deep though). Randy Moss actually gave a shit before he gave up completely in 2009. -my dad: the WORST fan. He hasn’t ever watched a full game that I know of. He forgets games are on. And then when he does come in, he immediately starts yelling/hollering and acting like he is the Defensive Coordinator and talking the whole fucking way through it. Then he walks out if they let up a first down or if they don’t convert, thinks the team is shit, and overreacts to everything. My brother and I gave up trying to get through to him what a fuckhead he is. The other worst kind of fan is someone, like my Jets fan roommate, who yells/argues every call like the lawyer he is. Both are awful ends of the spectrum. I tend to just watch games calmly and shut the fuck up. I might yell if there’s a surprise Touchdown out of nowhere.
AFC East Patriots: 12-4 Jets: 8-8 Dolphins: 8-8 Bills: 4-12
AFC West Broncos: 13-3 Chargers: 10-6 Chiefs: 6-10 Raiders: 3-13
AFC North Bengals: 10-6 Ravens: 9-7 Steelers -7-9 Browns: 5-11
AFC South Colts: 10-6 Texans: 9-7 Jaguars: 4-12 Titans: 3-13
NFC West Seahawks-12-4 49ers-10-6 Rams-7-9 Cardinals: 3-13
NFC East Eagles: 12-4 Redskins: 6-10 Cowboys: 4-12 Giants: 3-13
NFC North Packers: 11-5 Bears: 10-6 Lions: 9-7 Vikings: 6-10
NFC South Saints: 13-3 Bucs: 8-8 Falcons: 4-12 Panthers: 3-13
AFC Championship: Broncos 28 over Patriots 24 NFC Championship: Saints 28 over Seahawks 24 Super Bowl: Saints 31 over Broncos 28
MVP: Peyton Manning
Honorable: Tom Brady; Aaron Rodgers; Drew Brees; Andrew Luck; JJ Watt; Calvin Johnson Defensive Player of Year: JJ Watt honorable: Luke Kuechly; Robert Quinn; Earl Thomas; Darrelle Revis; Sheldon Richardson; Clay Matthews
Offensive Player of Year: Calvin Johnson Honorable: LeSean McCoy; Adrian Peterson
Coach of Year: Chip Kelly Honorable: Bill Belichick (should win it every year); Pete Carroll; Jim Harbaugh; Sean Payton; Lovie Smith; Bill O’Brien
Offensive Rookie of Year- Brandin Cooks Honorable: Sammy Watkins; Eric Ebron; Jake Matthews
Defensive Rookie of Year-Jadeveon Clowney Honorable: CJ Mosley; Aaron Donald; Ryan Shazier; Calvin Pryor; Anthony Barr
$39.99 Vance DeGeneres’ life is quietly fascinating. — Ellen’s brother — Corporal in the Marine Corps — Originated the role of Mr. Hands in the Mr. Bill short films — Co-founded a band with Go-Go’s …
the image of the ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’ costume and the above Steve Carrell reaction? Mine too.
Taylor Swift performed her new single, “Shake It Off,” at tonight’s MTV Video Music Awards. It’s a song about all her “haters,” many of whom say the pop-country star can’t sing live. So here’s her isolated vocal track from tonight’s performance.
Literally, after missing a couple of beats, she sang, “I NEVER MISS A BEAT!”
I’d like to invite you to chug a few cups of coffee and mosh your way through the morning while listening to “Mike Trout" as loud as your preferred listening device can handle. This track is a little more straightforward than our previous work, but I assure you that the rest of the record is faster, heavier, slower, more brutal, more melodic, more absurd, and entirely baseball-themed. If you’re a fan of any or all of those things, you’re gonna love it.
Matthew McConaughey—the lieutenant of L-I-V-I-N, the commander of casual, the bombardier of being real—was at Sunday’s Astros-Red Sox game, wearing a fanny pack. He did not care about anyone else’s opinion of his fanny pack.
like Billy Madison making peeing in your pants cool, McConaughey makes fanny packs cool.
He’s shooting a movie in Purgatory Chasm, around where I live. I guess it’s supposed to look like Japan there. Everybody I knew growing up post pics of themselves there, but I’ve never been. Never any desir to really. McConaughey being there actually makes me want to walk into the woods.
Get Hurt is completely different than anything the Gaslight Anthem has ever done, a record that comes after frontman Brian Fallon’s divorce, as well as a retreat from both substances and social media. With every bungled attempt at pop, metal, or pop-metal that the Gaslight Anthem make, Get Hurt just rewrites its own worst case scenario.
Dunno if y’all saw what can only be described as a blistering review from everyone’s favorite dickhead at p4k, Ian Cohen. He isn’t all wrong but good god is this a little harsh.
Jesus. I mean. Im in agreeance in a way but you dont need to take attack the guy personally. What a fucking asshole.
Yeah I don’t like the record either, but jesus christ take it down a notch.
Wow he did not hold back at all.
What a fucking dildo
*slowly nods head* *is scared of planes* *does not care* *manages to book a ticket to fly in order to find where Ian Cohen lives and kick his ass* *”SAY GASBAG ANTHEM ONE MORE TIME!”*
In all seriousness, I laughed a couple times. But Pitchfork is a douchebag site. If they hate your album, it’s typically a good sign.
The United States of America is not for black people. We know this, and then we put it out of our minds, and then something happens to remind us. Saturday, in the St. Louis suburb of Ferguson, Mo., something like that happened: An unarmed 18-year-old black man was executed by police in broad daylight.
Huge bummer that he died and wasn’t feeling good (divorce; addiction; post-heart attack, past issues, work, etc, etc). Said to just be the greatest dude. By all accounts, he was a genuine friend to fellow stand-ups, even those just starting out and he’d go out of his way to support them. I do wish you’d hear that more while he was here. And that he could have heard it.
It’s sent a ripple out at my workplace, the streets, internet, and everywhere. That dude was loved. People 20-40 years older than me loved and grew up with him the way I did. My parents and I shared Robin together. How great is that? Just about everybody felt like shit about it. Well, except for one older dude who said he had no sympathy for him because he killed himself and left behind some kids. That sucks, but everybody felt differently about it and you could sense that. I don’t know how people can be that hard-headed about that or have a lack of empathy. But that is definitely NOT the way most people feel.
I’ve been depressed and attempted suicide before (when I was 11). Depression is an illness and it isn’t viewed as one the way it should be. I’ve had it in waves and moments of sadness. It’s stopped for years now but I’m sure I’ll deal with bouts of depression again as it click-clacks somewhere deep inside. I’d like to think I’ll be better equipped to deal with it. The mistakes I’ve made in the past were not cutting things off where it should be and just being a walking disaster cloud of depression (high school/early college years) and not doing anything proactive to fix it. Mostly though, it just was being ashamed, not asking for help, being way too much of a loner/introvert. People are real easy to talk to/open up with once you do. It’s just super difficult to get that to happen and to feel loved.
Robin had far more demons than me. And far more life experiences than I did. That wasn’t a secret to anybody really. He wore that on his sleeve. And he was getting help, to some degree. And it wasn’t enough and he had a breaking point. That’s painful to hear and is one of my darkest fears. What’s the breaking point? And how can you not feel for that and have empathy for that?
Hook is one of my all-time favorite movies growing up. The darkness of that movie doesn’t really hit you until you grow up (fuck, they sure don’t make kid movies like that anymore…and they should). Robin was so hairy he had to shave his arms for the part. My friend in high school purposely used Hook to hook up with girls at his house. It’s a slower movie than you think (the first Lord of the Rings worked for me once since it was slowly but I never had a go-to movie and I should) and girls love it too. He used that movie about 15 times. Was a running joke to everybody.
One girl at my high school was giving a blowjob to her boyfriend while watching Aladdin at his house. His mom walked in on it, freaked out, and he goes, “MOM! WE WERE JUST MAKING OUT!” and with comic timing she said, “YEAH! WITH YOUR DICK!” and drove her home.
Robin was also a patient of my Uncle’s in San Francisco and also a nearby neighbor. He’s a doctor who specializes in colonoscopies and that type of shit to to just about every famous dude out in San Francisco. Robin was ALWAYS the guy that I and every famiy member asked about. 15-year old me: “How was Robin? Was he funny?” My Uncle: “Not really. Kind of hard to be funny when you’re about to get something stuck up your ass.” 15-year old me: “Oh. Yeah. Well, that makes sense.”
Loved his movies. Loved his stand-up. I was born in 1986 so I never really took to any TV shows that came before me. Except Mork and Mindy. There was just some infectious, manic energy that pulled you towards him. I can’t think of another performer/comic who had that and he held it for so long.
Robin cheers up a paralyzed Christopher Reeve-the story about Robin surprising/cheeering up Christopher Reeve (his college roommate) in his hospital room after he was paralyzed is one of the best stories. Check it out if you can find it.
Criticisms that I hated of him-People shit on his recent movies lately. Or that he’d destroy a TV show or a movie that WAS funny by ‘doing his thing’. But I know he was probably crippled by it because he was probably being asked, wrongfully, to do that thing. And also that comedy screenplays, especially for actors beyond a certain age, just weren’t there. Unless you’re Louis CK really. I just cringed and wanted to punch people for shitting on Robin or ‘doing his thing’ was slamming him.
his movies Some great movies I enjoyed…. Aladdin; Dead Poet’s Society; Good WIll Hunting; Hook; Insomnia; Jumanji; Mrs Doubtfire; World According to Garp (underrated)
Didn’t care for… Death to Smoochy (cult fave w/ offbeat humor); Patch Adams; Toys (I get the feeling if I saw this again I would hate it); What Dreams May Come (depressing but a favorite for others)
Others… Jack (watched this recently while sobering up after a hangover: isn’t so great but the final scene always makes me cry);
I still need to check out… the Birdcage; the Final Cut; Fisher King; Good Morning Vietnam; World’s Greatest Dad
stand-up: I listened to the Met one a year ago but it should be heard/seen over listening to. You really do have to see him be a force of nature to enjoy. Even his ‘Live on Broadway’ that came out during the Bush administration was amazing. He still had it and people my age recognized that. Holy shit, is that good.
WTF w/ Marc Maron -one of the great episodes and one of the first episodes that got me REALLY into podcasts (was a breakthrough one for the show too). If you like Robin, that’s a classic to return to. I’m sure his Inside the Actor’s Studio one is something to revisit too.
RIP Robin. Never knew him but it was great having him around. And I’ll continue to enjoy him.
If you want to really hear Robin Williams - really hear him - you should listen to this incredibly moving interview he did with Marc Maron circa 2010.
It was the very first thing I thought about when I heard the terrible news of Williams’ death today. He talks so honestly and frankly about his alcoholism, his divorce, his depression, and so many other things.
Ruining mock drafts is pretty much definitely an art form. And as with all forms of art, if you reference an online guide, it’s actually really simple to pick up and become incredibly skillful. So here’s your online guide.
I just want to say that I’ve had Chris Pratt stock since the final season of THE OC when he played Che in a role that could have been a trainwreck in lesser hands. Someone’s going to beat me and say they’ve had stock since Everwood. Well, fuck you.
…and I want to see ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ real badly. I’m getting some shit spoiled for me on the internets and it’s bullshit.
After surviving fame and a divorce, New Jersey’s “true heir to Springsteen” is getting back to normal.
pretty great interview for Gaslight fans.
The constant heartbreak theme of the album might be viewed as too much or him re-hashing teenage heartbreak (even if they do specialize in heartbreak and making sad songs feel so good). But it’s not. When viewed in that context, it makes it a much better and a much more personal album (think Bruce w/ ‘Tunnel of Love’).
I have some bones to pick with the album (arrangement of tracks; feeling like it was going to be really different/far out there as they hyped), but I love it already. “Have Mercy” should have been on the album and not a B-Side. That’s a great one.
Favorite tracks: “1000 Years”; “Selected Poems”; “Get Hurt”; “Ain’t That a Shame”; “Have Mercy”; “Stay Vicious”; “Dark Places”
I’d stop because I could pick the whole album basically. But love those ones.
This is a local news report about James Taylor, a wonderfully goatee’d, 20-year-old West Michigan man who threw a big-ass party at his house that featured multiple DJs, fire-throwers, go-go dancers, and about 2,000 attendees. It’s a really funny news report, but it achieves transcendence around the 25-second mark.
This is a great one. Not what I expected from what they were hyping or preparing for their fans as a ‘departure’. It’s different but undeniably fun the whole way. With tracks titled ‘Red Violins’, ‘Selected Poems’, or knowing Brian was going to play piano on ‘Underneath the Ground’, I was expecting something sad and slow. I feel like an idiot for expecting that. It’s all fun. And I had a feeling they were going to save being serious somewhere close to the end (‘Break Your Heart”…or the first minute of ‘Get Hurt’). But it’s pure rock’n’roll from what I think is the greatest American rock band we have.
Bonus songs are good too. First 2 I could see why they left it off for being too different. The other two? I could see on the record.
It’s damn fun when you have a favorite band and it’s like Christmas morning where you just sit in a room with a new record when it comes out. Can’t wait to let this one sink in and know it well.