Thanks to years of playing the Madden and NCAA Football franchises on Sega Genesis and Playstation, Christopher McComas feels confident he can lead the University of North Dakota to football immortality. His plan? “Chuck the pigskin” and then chuck it some more. Relentless defense. No mercy punting.
Something very bad happened to Sebastien Courcelles, a hockey player in Quebec’s Ligue Nord-Americaine de Hockey. During a recent game, Courcelles had his face slashed open by a skate blade. I’m going to show you a picture of Courcelles’s face now, but it is very gruesome and super NSFW.
I was going to post the pic straight up, but thought otherwise. I’d be making the same exact face as his teammate.
BEST NEW SHOWS DRAMA the Americans; Banshee; Hannibal; Masters of Sex; Orphan Black; Sleepy Hollow BEST NEW SHOWS COMEDY Brooklyn 99; Nathan for You; the Wrong Mans OLD RELIABLES Colbert Report; South Park BEST SHOWS NOBODY IS WATCHING Banshee; Hannibal; Strike Back PLEASANTLY SURPRISING SHOWS Hannibal; Sleepy Hollow WORST NEW SHOWS Bates Motel; the Following; Ray Donovan; Rectify; Under the Dome
All these shows were panned with the exception of Rectify, which is called a ‘meditative’ series. It’s just REALLY boring, slow, and dull. The sister in it is hot though, so there’s that. WATCHABLE PIECE OF SHIT -Scandal-overacting and ridiculousness at its finest. It’s been turned up a couple of notches
-Sons of Anarchy—hasn’t been good since season 2; I’d say this show is a bigger and more frustrating piece of shit from the potential that it had WORST SHOWS—ACTIVELY HATED Arrested Development; Community; Dexter; How I Met Your Mother
Admittedly, I haven’t watched any of the newest season of HIMYM, but fuck that show. AD & Community have the best hopes of turning it around.
THE LIST 1) Breaking Bad -this and the Wire are the best shows ever IMO with Friday Night Lights right there 2) Game of Thrones -this and Breaking Bad are the only 2 shows where I will put down everything to watch it when it is on. 3) Eastbound and Down -show at its highest quality since season 1. I had no expectations for this and didn’t enjoy seasons 2-3. But from the instant this season started to the end, there was genuine excitement instantly that things were clicking and they knew what they were doing. 4) Archer -season 2 is still the show at its best. 5) Hannibal -holy hell, this was ridiculous 6) Justified -this show could be much higher 7) Mad Men -felt tiresome with Don Draper tropes, Glenn, Draper’s wife, etc. Could have been higher. 8) Veep -creator of this did IN THE LOOP, which is one of the best comedies of the last decade. It’s brilliant with insults, vulgar, people being horrible/selfish. I couldn’t love it more. 9) Orphan Black -fun sci-fi surprise 10) Southland -best season at its end. I marathoned my way through this show in a couple weeks. It’s rock solid.
DIPS AND VALLEYS Fringe; the Office
Both had strong finales for shit seasons, particularly ‘the Office’. I thought ‘Fringe’ changed itself too much in ways I didn’t care for. It was a totally different show and a rush job.
I generally like these shows (LOVE Workaholics) but they had down seasons. DISAPPOINTING DRAMAS Boardwalk Empire; the Bridge; Homeland; House of Cards; the Killing; Newsroom; Shameless; Walking Dead
Count me in as haters of all these shows. Homeland was great in season 1.
NOT MY TASTE—Detective series 1) Top of the Lake—looked the best with New Zealand location; Elisabeth Moss (Peggy from MAD MEN) is good 2) Broadchurch 3) the Fall—most unsettling 4) the Killing—most frustrating overall
All were bleak, humorless, and felt the same. But the first 3 shows were proper in that they had shorter seasons (6episodes typically) and told their stories.
HISTORICALLY AWFUL SERIES FINALE Dexter
That could not have gone any worse. It’s like the world’s biggest troll wrote that final season.
HAVE NOT SEEN BUT HOPE TO GET AROUND TO 30 Rock; Enlightened; the Good Wife; Ground Floor; Hello Ladies; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; Key & Peele; Maron; New Girl; Orange is the New Black; the Returned; Utopia
Strike Back s3
Ground Floor, Orange is the New Black, Key & Peele and New Girl are at the top of my list. Every Key & Peele clip that comes out I love. It takes work for me to get caught up with comedies over dramas though.
DON’T WANT TO WATCH American Horror Story; Low Winter Sun
BEST EPISODES DRAMA -Breaking Bad-“Ozymandias” (you could include ANY of the 8 episodes in this season) -Game of Thrones-“the Rains of Castamere” AKA the Red Wedding -Justified—‘Decoy’
Any Banshee fight scene any Breaking Bad & ‘the Rains of Castamere’ are instant classic episodes BEST EPISODES COMEDY -Nathan for You—‘the Claw of Shame’ -Vice—‘North Korea’ (I guess this is a comedy?) -the League—‘Rafi and Dirty Randy’ road trip -Parks & Rec—‘London Part 1 & 2’ (opening episodes of this season) -Brooklyn 99—‘Thanksgiving’ -the Office -series finale -Stephen Colbert—DAFT PUNK
You could pick any episode besides maybe the penultimate Christmas episode of Eastbound & Down and be right.
a Simple Task: lower a flag to fly at half-mast...and I fucked it up
So my bank’s maintenance supervisor called all branches telling them to fly the flags at half-mast on Saturday in honor of Pearl Harbor Day. Being the only guy at the bank, I was sent out to do it even though I protested saying, “I DON’T KNOW!” as I do to everything. I am helpless. I have never made my own bed let alone my laundry, so ‘simple’ tasks aren’t for me.
So off I went. I thought I could simply tug the rope on the flag down. This is how easy I was hoping it would be. But no, it is wrapped around the pole. So I had to unwrap it, pull it down, and then rewrap it immediately to make it stay.
Look, I can unwrap presents on Christmas Day. That? Takes no skill, although I would beg to differ if you see me on Christmas Day. But I am lost as to how to wrap presents. I don’t bother. So now I had to do this with a fucking flag. The flag was dangling at was way below half-mast
A former co-worker/friend of mine came in through drive-up, I laughed, and told him about the flag. He laughed. He then drove off and checked it out. Shortly thereafter, he comes running back in laughing and goes, "No! Marty! Jesus! You’ve got to go out and there fix it! I mean, my God! Just see what I mean…" I go back out and the flag is on the fucking ground flapping like a fish out of water as it’s blowing in the wind. So he helped me fix it. Glad I escaped the world of shit I would have been in.
Browns safety T.J. Ward ended Rob Gronkowskiâs season with a direct shot to the knee on Sunday. Was it legal? Yes. But it shouldnât be. What will it take for the NFL to change its rules and protect all defenseless players?
I’m still surprised chop-blocking is allowed. In high school, I nearly fought some douchebag Saint John’s kid who chopped me far away from where the play was. Nobody likes being chopped. It makes you think about your knees and protecting them. There isn’t shit that you can do which I think is a main point of even doing them in the first place: throwing off the defender mentally. It’s defenseless.
The target zone does suck and is especially iffy around QB’s. They got to throw a bone to defenses (Pass Interference changes)
David Simon: Capitalism in America has lost sight of its social compact
Creator of the Wire and journalist’s speech translated up above. It’s a great and infuriating read on how capitalism has failed in the last 30 years. Also, Marxist ideas are discussed. It’s sensible, but it’s going to be taken out of context. Simon is well-aware of that. But good luck being common sense into the equation in American society/politics. There’s no place for it.
Actor Shaun Weiss, who played Goldberg in 'The Mighty Ducks,' is accused of beating and trying to pee on his ex-girlfriend.
I was going to make this joke…
EVERYBODY (in unison): GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG: It wasn’t me! DEAN PORTMAN: No! It was me!
…but, like I figured it was made instantly in the comments section.
DonkeyHodey: I always figured pissing on your stuff would be more a Julie ‘The Cat’ Gaffney thing.
If I were a billionaire, I would just fund the dumbest projects imaginable. Bringing the Mighty Ducks back for a 4th movie, even in their 30s, I’d be down for. No one is really successful. Kenan Thompson isn’t going to do anything beyond SNL. Joshua Jackson hasn’t hit it really. So why not?
How two alienated, angry geeks broke the story of the year
there’s been a couple longreads on Edward Snowden topic and how it happened. This one is good and expands on it.
I get why Snowden did it and maybe what he saw. And you have to be kind of a dick to root for him to NOT get away with it. I don’t view him as a traitor, but get defending the argument for ‘the precedent that it sets’ or whatever. It’s not exactly black and white though.
Back in the day, it seemed like the NFL had a lot of older, and therefore balder, players. These days, it’s all about good-looking signal callers who can shill for cars and deodorants and Uggs. That got us thinking, what if the modern NFL quarterback looked more like the regular Joe passers from the ’60s and ’70s? Well, we got to Photoshopping and now you have today’s NFL quarterbacks if they were bald. Tom Brady, New England Patriots Share this on Facebook?
Justin Halpern: This wins my “Stupidest thing of the day that makes me laugh really hard” award:
don’t think I’ve ever listened to the Jonas Brothers (may have been on at work on the radio station that plays non-stop) but this is actually an awesome, honest read of what it was like to be in a teenage band. Just fascinating and a weird look into a hyper-controlled lifestyle for someone so young and the success that comes.
An HTML5 soundboard made from the sounds of James Hetfield, vocalist for Metallica.
After my last post, good time as any to post this also, my uncle and his partner are both doctors and specialize in colonoscopies. His partner performed a colonoscopy on Hetfield. I laughed when I was told of this because I just couldn’t help but run him, play with the soundboard at sounds I imagined him saying/singing/yelling while it happened..
I guess my 15-year old cousin, who lives out in San Francisco, is best friends with Lars’ son…and…is maybe in the process of forming a band with him. I went on Facebook, checked out my cousin’s Facebook to confirm this, and holy shit. I refuse to friend him since he is 15 and, being 15, he is a massive tool.
My uncle and my cousins lifestyle is so dramatically different from anything I know (being the 1 percent of the 1 percent basically). It’s just beyond anything. It’s normal to them. I mean, shit, my cousins live 4 doors down from the founder of Twitter. They used to live across from romance author Danielle Steele, Diane Feinstein, and the former owner of the Gap and Golden State Warriors. BUT his friends, neighbors, and people he goes to private school with? They’re the sons of billionaires and people worth over $100 million. You’re best friends with the son of the drummer of Metallica and sleeping over his house all the time? WTF?! If I were my cousin, there is no fucking way that I would not blast ‘Enter Sandman’ while Lars tried sleeping.